Monday, January 16, 2017

New Year, New Me? Not quite

If you follow this blog (and thank you if you are still around) you'll have noticed consistency isn't my strong suit. My children have consistency, my husband has consistency- it's just that in managing to create consistency for everyone else,  my needs and efforts to be consistent with the things for me end up taking second place.

For the past 8 years and some odd months I have been taking care of other people. I take care of my children and my husband. I take care of the people I work with (comes with the territory of being an assistant). Sure I make efforts to take care of myself and for some periods I succeeded in taking good care of myself but I've NEVER made myself a priority. There has always been a tiny human who needed me, my family needing me, making sacrifices in my career to better meet the needs of my family, making sacrifices with my friends to meet the needs of my tiny humans, sacrificing my time to meet the needs of my employer, etc.....

In short there is a whole lot of sacrificing going on.

Not be sound like a martyr, there are many benefits to those sacrifices- happy, healthy kids, improved financial situation for my family, happy husband, happy friends, happy challengers...

Something occurred this weekend that made me really rethink this whole giving my all for everyone thing. It was a small thing but I felt really hurt by it, because I was doing my best to make everyone happy and still not miss out on something I wanted to be at. And I missed out despite stretching myself as thin as possible because another person didn't show me the same kind of consideration  that I have shown them time and time again. It made me think- while some sacrificing is worth it but maybe it's more than time for me to reclaim some respect and consideration for my needs.

I'm calling uncle on my whole situation. My cup is empty and it is totally impacting how I am able to care for my family. They are the one who suffer the most when the well is dry. Even the small deposits of love and adoration from the tiny humans aren't making their usual impact. 

People are depending on me. My family, my coworkers, my challengers, my customers. I am no good to anyone if I have nothing to give. So what is a mom to do?  The answer is quite simple in theory, harder in follow through:

1) Show myself some grace
2) Make a plan for change
3) Put the plan into action

The hardest of these three things is probably #1. I'm not good at showing myself grace. I'm hard on myself because I expect so much of myself. But I also expect so much of myself because I constantly fall into the trap of comparing myself to others. Sound familiar? Your life's journey is your own and while Top Coach's life looks perfect on social media I can assure you it isn't- now to just remember that when I'm falling into the comparison trap!

I'm great at making plans- follow through on plans for myself is the hard part. There are a few things in my life that I'm not happy about (that's a post for another day), so I'm focusing on one aspect at a time. I need to learn to ask for help, and ask for my needs to be put on the list. Morning workouts are a struggle. My workout needs to happen at night. That means the family routine is going to have to change- and I need to make peace with that. As a family, we'll need to look at the routine and make a change to ensure that I get 25 minutes to workout before 9pm.

Small steps will lead to bigger changes. 

Small steps will fill the cup. Filling the cup means everyone benefits.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Pop the bubbly bridal shower

When my sister told me she was getting married I got a little excited. In fact I'm pretty sure the words weren't out of her mouth and I had a wedding planner, some magazines and a book sent to her within 48 hours.

Maybe it was the connection on the phone but I'm pretty sure she said "Hey Lisa how would you like to be my maid of honor and throw me the most kick ass bridal shower evah?" I'm pretty sure that's exactly what she said... or it could have been "OMG!! Jordan asked me to marry him!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!".

Planning was well underway- at least by me. She was busy finishing her undergraduate degree and I had to give her that time and space to get that done. Her graduation party was a little outlet but once she got home and settled in her new job I had permission to start pushing encouraging her to get the event planned.

We picked a date for the bridal shower and I got to work. After bouncing a few ideas around,we settled on Brunch and Bubbly- because mimosas!

A lot of work went into creating a really fabulous event and I want to share all the details with you- so I'm breaking this up!

Event planning basics: There are a few simple steps that will help you host a well organized event- the less stress the better.  I don't have a pretty printable but hopefully you will find these helpful:

  • Pick a date- the day of the week and time of day that works best for your guest of honor will dictate what type of event you have. I was coming from out of town, as were a bunch of my sister's friends so a weekend was going to be a necessity.
  • Pick a theme- based on the time of day you can build pretty much any theme you want! I wanted something that reflected my sister's transition into adulting so a bruch seemed like a good idea, not too early, a little booze and the rest of the day was open for adventuring- or naps.
  • Decide on a budget- you can do a lot with a little if you are willing to make a lot by hand and/or by asking people to contribute their talents. While I did DIYed a lot for this party, I had a few aunts bring their trademark dishes, a friend of my sister's took the pictures and a couple of friends helped pull it all together on site. I had some expenses but not as much as if I had had it catered, bought all the decore, hired a photographer and used an event coordinator.
  • Make a plan!!! The single most important element to a low stress fabulous event is to have a plan. Take the date of the party and work backwards- from set up the night before all the way back to the date the invites need to be printed/designed for snail mail or email.
Once the date of the shower was set I got to work on the invitations. They were going to be paper and pretty! I used Vistaprint to design the invite and waited for them to have a good sale before I ordered them. Janice was awesome about wanting the shower to be classy and a little off theme from the actual wedding, so we went with pink and gold. I also ordered coordinating thank you notes for the bride to send out after the shower.

And you know the envelope had to be pretty! I used my silhouette to address the envelopes and I loved how they turned out! I used the metallic silhouette pens and then filled the names in by hand. Apparently there are tutorials to show you how to do this with the machine but I didn't bother trying to figure it out.I wanted to include the flower on all of the invites but it was taking a long time to individually create each envelope. Instead, I used the flower on invitations for the mothers, grandmothers and bridal party.

Next up- party decorations!